Urge

Being put down, and ignoring it. But then breaking down myself later, crying in my bed, silently so no one could here, till I fell asleep. Then getting back up the next morning pretending everything is fine, as if I have never broken down. Because I know if I break down others will follow, and that's not me being self centered. But if I continue to never show what I feel, it will still hurt other. Mixed emotions become the urge, the strong urge to fix it all, but also the urge to make all the pain stop. But I would never give in to the urge, for it comes at the end of my break down, and when I'm starting to think clearly. I would never give into it, but find rational reasons to stop it from coming. I'd do the same for my friends, family, and any stranger I met, because no one should give into the urge.